If friction-maxxing has not yet made it to your radar this year, congrats! You are probably already reaping some of its benefits by spending less time retinally suctioned to a screen. But for the sake of cocktail party fluency on this trending term: It boils down to choosing the less convenient, generally itchier route when faced with everyday decision making.
Think calling and speaking to an actual human when you order takeout instead of virtually transacting through Uber Eats. Or making dinner, with a recipe, from an actual cookbook instead of ChatGPT, using groceries items you wrote down on a physical notepad and then purchased IRL—and then inviting your partner to help you make that dinner, even though you know it will inevitably result in burned onions and an unnecessary pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
If all this sounds annoying, that’s the point. Adversity, as the writer who coined the phrase argues, gives texture to life. People aren’t entitled to instant gratification or hyper-optimized paths of least resistance; in fact, those things are robbing us of our attention spans, critical thinking skills, and meaningful connections. You know, human stuff.
In some ways, the friction-maxxing framework has an analogue in the ongoing “slow decorating” conversation happening across the design world—basically, the idea that the most appealing interiors come together over time, not via shoppable Pinterest board. “We’re so conditioned to say ‘immediately yes’ to the quick and easy thing,” says Leah Alexander, founder of the Atlanta-based studio Beauty Is Abundant. But there’s added value, often quite literally, in practicing patience when it comes to the cultivation of space.
Take hiring a contractor, for example. “Reading reviews is a bare-minimum activity when you’re bringing anyone in to work on something in your home,” says Alexander. Googling is not enough, and neither is going with the first person who gets back to you.
“Getting more than one estimate provides so much insight as to what it’s like to work with someone. How they format or itemize a quote, the timeliness of communication, payment terms and accepted payment methods—this is all valuable information.”
Another “friction maxx” Alexander recommends putting into play: Taping out the size of a piece of furniture and living with that footprint for a bit before pulling the trigger on a purchase. “Clients also find that furniture, in general, looks and feels bigger in a space that has been empty for some time,” so having a visual, in tape, on the floor, not only clarifies if something fits, it also helps reduce the shock of a piece feeling “too big,” she adds.
Acquiring furniture in intentional stages is another way to frontload friction, shares Studio Roene founder Julia Sobrepeña King. “I start with larger, foundational pieces in a room and layer over time. I move things around, edit, and iterate—it’s a process that can take months, and sometimes even years.” Leaving things “undone” creates the opportunity for evolution, and that’s where personality starts to come through: “I like when a space reflects different stages of life, rather than feeling fixed.”
Going custom also slows down the process in a positive way. “Whether it’s restoring something old, reupholstering a chair, or commissioning a piece, that extra effort makes a meaningful difference in how a space feels,” adds Sobrepeña King. Her other pro-tips include holding out for art you’ve seen in real life, and waiting to pick out pillow covers until pretty much everything else is complete.
Customization also means directing dollars toward local craftspeople and quality materials instead of questionable manufacturers and mass market slop. “There are clearly countless options readily available on the market,” says Robin Heller of Baltimore-based firm Surrounded By Color. But especially when you have a unique layout or square footage, it’s worthwhile to tailor pieces to the exact specs. “Custom pieces also become heirlooms. It’s always worth it,” says Heller. Which is, of course, the animating proposition behind the friction-maxxing concept: Slowing down is almost always worthwhile in the end.
